Sharp Knife of a Short Life
by JustAGirlWithAStory
Summary: A story about if Sasuke had really been killed by Haku, and the aftermath for Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura.
1. Chapter 1

None of this franchise is mine.

Chapter 1

There was hardly a word spoken during the trip back home. Naruto kept switching his gaze between Kakashi, who was staring at the water with an empty expression and Sakura, who was crying inconsolably. He had tried several times to wrap an arm around her, touch her hand, just somehow comfort her, all of which she responded icily to, even slapping his hand once. The one time that the silence was broken was when Kakashi said, "Naruto, let her be."

Sakura didn't even look at him as they stepped off of the small boat. She began walking away the second both of her feet hit solid ground. Naruto looked up at Kakashi with an oblivious expression. "Sensei, why is she so upset with me?"

He didn't get a reply from his teacher, who had his eyes fixated on the sky. "Sensei?"

Kakashi blinked, pulling himself from his thoughts. "Sorry... she just lost someone she cared about. It has nothing to do with you," He said. Naruto was almost sure he heard agitation in his voice.

"Are you upset with me?"

"No, Naruto. I have a lot on my mind. One of my own students is dead."

Naruto had no idea what to do. He had never seen this man even a little out of sorts emotionally. He did all he could really do at this point and held out his arms hesitantly and wrapped them around his teacher's waist. "I'm sorry, sensei."

"You have no reason to be sorry," Kakashi said and walked away, leaving Naruto standing alone. He saw nothing other to do than to go home.

On the way home, he heard a young voice calling his name. He looked up to see Konohamaru running up to him.

"Naruto!"

He slowed down to a stop and looked his way. "Yes, Konohamaru?"

"I heard you went on your first C ranked mission. That's so cool!. How was it? Tell me everything about it. Did you get to fight anybody?"

He started walking again. "Yes, I fought some people."

The child grew visibly irritated and trailed after him. "That doesn't give me anything! I want to know about the whole trip, from the start to the finish."

"Look, I'm tired, it has been a really long day, and I really would rather be alone right now."

His expression switched from annoyance to concern. "Naruto, are you okay? You're not acting like yourself."

He stopped and stared at the ground, trying to find the right words to say. Why couldn't kids understand when people didn't want to be bothered?

"I just don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Did something bad happen on the mis-"

"Will you just drop it!?"

He instantly felt regret when he saw the child become frightened. He put his face in his hands. He had just yelled at Konohamaru, who was only innocently asking a question that he knew nothing about. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"Did something bad happen? I promise that's the last thing I'll say about it."

He bit his lip because he was afraid that if he said anything, it would come out sounding choked. When he was sure that he'd keep it together, he nodded. "Yes, Konohamaru. Something very bad happened."

"Oh..."

"Look, I'm sorry about blowing up."

"It's okay." He took a few steps closer to him. "Do you want a hug?"

"Sure." He let the eight year old pull him into an embrace. "Whatever happened, I'm sorry." A wide grin spread across his face. "But I'm sure it's nothing a little ramen couldn't fix!"

It almost broke him when he said that. Before he left for the Land of Waves, there wasn't anything that ramen couldn't help. It was always a source of comfort for him. But now, nothing could make it any better.

"I just want to go home, and be by myself."

Konohamaru face fell as he let go of Naruto. "It was really bad, wasn't it?"

He turned around so that he couldn't see the tears forming in his eyes. "Being a ninja isn't all it's cracked up to be," he said and finished his walk home.

He didn't eat or drink anything that night. He barely even moved. It still hadn't sunk in that Sasuke was dead. It felt like that whole day was just some kind of messed up dream. He was sure that he would see Sasuke again the next day. He would call him a loser and all of the other condescending terms reserved for him, and all would be right in the world again. But he knew in the back of his mind that wouldn't happen tomorrow, or ever again, thanks to Haku. No, it wasn't Haku's fault really, he did it thinking of Zabuza, like everything else he did. It was Zabuza. No, they would've never known of Zabuza's existence if weren't for Gato. But they would've never crossed paths with Gato had Tazuna been honest about risks of the mission.

"No, it was me," He said to himself as he sat on the floor in his bedroom. _Sasuke died protecting me. I am the reason he's gone. He was killed all because of me._

He stared at nothing for hours, his mind numb from all of the thoughts and memories hitting him. He didn't think he would even fall asleep that night, but in the early hours of the night his eyes finally closed.

"Don't beat yourself up, Kakashi. It could've happened to anyone," Kurenai said as she and Asuma sat outside with Kakashi.

"He was twelve years old."

"The second you become a ninja, you can die at any moment," Asuma said.

"He was a child." He let out a slow breath. "Don't you think it's just a little wrong that we send out children to fight to their death?"

"I guess... but in the end, everyone has to die at some point, don't they?"

Kakashi didn't reply. He couldn't deny the truth to Asuma's thesis. It wasn't like he didn't know from the initial formation of Team 7 that this was a possibility, but it's just human nature to think that nothing like that could ever happen to you. Just this morning, he was alive, well, and talking, had his whole life ahead of him, and that life got cut short because he had gotten himself into a fix where if he tried to help him, Zabuza would kill that old drunk that he had to protect.

His student's memory haunted him. He dreaded closing his eyes, because every time without fail, he would see the boy's face. When he was alone in his house, there were moments he swore he heard his voice.

"Dammit, leave me alone!" He shouted to the walls around him as threw the nearest inanimate object at them.

Sakura had been lying in the same place on her bed from the moment she got home. Her mother gave her a strange look as she entered the door without a word, but knew somewhere within her that her daughter was in too fragile of a state to talk. She worried for Sakura for hours, telling herself, "She just needs time, she'll come out of her room any time now and tell me whatever is so heavily on her mind." But more hours passed with no word from her, and by the time the sun completely vanished she succumbed to her maternal instinct and practically ran to her daughter's room.

"Sakura?" She said softly as she knocked on the closed door, which was in itself unusual. Sakura generally didn't close her bedroom door other than at night while sleeping. She had a fleeting thought that she might have just been worn out from the mission, but something told her it was something bigger than that.

"Honey, are you awake?" No response. She sighed and pressed her forehead against the door. "Please say something." Not a word from the bedroom. Sakura was awake, she knew it. She knew this was probably an invasion of privacy, but she was too worried about her daughter to hold up to that this time. She opened the door hesitantly and saw Sakura lying in fetal position. Her heart began to pound, but she forced herself to remain calm.

"Did they wear you out that much?" She took a few steps closer and gasped with panic when she saw Sakura's face. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her cheeks were stained with tears.

"Sakura!" She quickly knelt down and brushed her long bangs out of her face. "What happened?"

She whispered something inaudible.

"What?"

She opened her mouth a few times to speak, but every time her lips began to quiver, and she stopped.

"Honey, please tell me."

"The mission... there were two ninjas... he's gone, Mom..." She broke into agonized sobs after she said the last part. Despite the bare explanation, she immediately understood what happened. Sasuke, the boy that her daughter thought had hung the moon and praised the ground he walked on, was dead. She had never actually met him, but she had heard so much about him that it drove her crazy. She felt completely powerless right now. She had to watch her daughter crumble right in front of her and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. She cradled Sakura in her arms and whispered, "It's going to be okay" to her in a hopeless attempt to soothe.

"Why?" Sakura said in between sobs.

"I don't know."

"It's not fair."

"I know, sweetie."

She closed her eyes and thought about the innocent smile on Sakura's face just before she left for that mission, missing it so much that there were no words that could ever describe it. She wondered to herself when she would see that smile on her little girl's face again.


	2. Chapter 2

Is it bad that when I write any kind of romantic passage, I literally feel nauseous?

Chapter 2

"Training hasn't been over for five minutes and you're pulling out food," Shikamaru said as they walked through the woods together.

"Yeah, and what about it?" Choji replied defensively.

"Nothing, I was just pointing it out." He sat down and leaned against a tall, wide tree. He looked up at the sky and inhaled, taking in the refreshing scent of the forest, the warmth of the sun on his face. He let his mind go blank, which was short lived because Choji brought him back to the present.

"Hey, Shikamaru."

"Yes, Choji?"

"You know Sasuke Uchiha?

"Yeah, what about him?"

"He's dead."

That brought his eyes back down to Earth. Of all of the things he thought Choji was going to say next, that was nowhere among them.

"You serious?"

"Yeah."

"Well, supposedly, they came across someone on their mission, and this kid was a freak of nature, and he got him trapped in some jutsu, I don't really know exactly what happened, but anyways the kid had these needles and he picked him apart with them until he died."

"Ouch… that's a shitty way to go."

"I know, right? I've heard Naruto's a wreck. Like he won't talk anyone and he won't even come out of his house."

"Wait, what? That makes no sense. He hated that kid, and now he's all messed up over his death?"

"Well, he was his teammate, Shikamaru… You know, we should pay Naruto a visit."

If Choji was about to make him get up from this spot… "Why?"

"Because, it's the decent thing to do."

"You just said he won't talk to anyone. We'd just be making it worse."

"Are you saying that because you care about Naruto or because you just don't want to get up?" He shook his head and yanked his teammate off the ground. "Up you go, you lay-about."

"Ugh…" He groaned. "I was really comfortable there too."

It wasn't like Shikamaru had expected Naruto to be all dressed up when he knocked on the front door, but he took a step back when the door opened. The boy hadn't changed clothes, bathed or even brushed his hair. He would've been surprised if he had gotten any sleep.

"Naruto…" He was completely speechless. Fortunately, his best friend wasn't.

"Hey, we… we just thought we'd stop by. I mean, we heard about what happened to…" He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to say Sasuke's name. Naruto stared at them with a blank expression for a long time, as if his mind couldn't process anything.

"Um, you guys can come in. If you want, that is. Sorry about the mess, I wasn't expecting company." The pair walked slowly through the doorway. Shikamaru wasn't surprised at the mess he was greeted with. Naruto had never been a neat freak, to say the least.

After Naruto shut the door, he asked, "You guys want something to drink or something like that?" Shikamaru was disturbed by the demeanor of his peer. He looked so lifeless, downtrodden. This was nothing like the Naruto he had known all his life.

"I'm fine, thanks anyways," he replied, trying to hide his discomfort in this living room. While his place wasn't spotless, this was a whole new level.

"We just wanted to say we're sorry about what happened," Choji said.

"Please don't apologize, guys. It's my fault."

"What makes you say that?"

"Haku had us trapped in the ice mirrors, and he was throwing the needles everywhere, and then suddenly he threw a whole bunch of them at me and I knew it was meant to kill me, and then Sasuke jumped in front of them… it's my fault he's gone."

Shikamaru spoke up before he could say anything more. "Hey, it's not your fault. It was his choice to be a human shield."

"But why? I never wanted anyone to die for me. I would've rather died."

Neither of them knew how to respond to that. All they could do was stand there, speechless as he continued.

"I had a dream last night. I always dream about really dumb things that could never happen in real life. But last night I dreamed about when we were in the Land of Waves, and Sasuke and I were trying to run up the tree. We spent hours on it, and we were both getting so frustrated, and he got this look on his face, and later that night I bust out laughing thinking about it… and then I dreamed about when I snuck up on him and tied him up, then I took on his form to try to get to kiss Sakura. He was so pissed."

"I can't imagine why," Shikamaru said. He watched as Naruto's eyes drifted off, like he was off in another time and place in his mind. There was a sad smile on his face as he shared his experiences with his dead teammate. He had no idea what to do. This was the first time he had ever seen Naruto not smiling, shouting everything he said, making corny jokes, rambling about ramen and how he was going to be Hokage someday, bouncing off the walls, completely clueless as to what was going on around him. It's strange when you see someone in a state like this, and you realize that they're human, that there's something deeper inside of them than the surface.

"Sakura, you didn't hit a single one," Kakashi said, looking around the field to see kunais scattered around the ground next to the five dummies he had put up for her to hit. Last time, every one of them had a kunai in what would be a vital organ if they were actually people. She had doing things like this all day. He had to repeat practically everything he said to her, and she couldn't remember the simplest things, like the shinobi rules or focus her chakra. He finally decided in the middle of the afternoon that training today was a waste of time.

"You know what? Let's just call it a day. I have some things that need to be taken care of anyways."

"I'm sorry, sensei, I'll do better tomorrow."

"It's alright, Sakura." He knew he shouldn't have done that. He should have scolded her, told her to toughen up, reminded her that a ninja doesn't show their feelings. But none of those things happened. _Well, I failed as a sensei already, so why not make it a habit?_

Sakura knew how badly she had failed as a ninja today. She had disgraced every shinobi in existence. The saddest part was that she didn't even care. All that she could think about was Sasuke. It was only the first day, and she already was nearly at her breaking point. She couldn't focus on anything. Nothing seemed important. She never even smiled that day, not even for the things she normally loved. What she loved more than anything was gone.

_ I'll never hear his voice. I'll never see his face, look into his eyes. All of that is gone now._

No one was home when she walked through the door. There was a note on the kitchen table. _Went to the grocery store. We'll be back soon. Love, Mom and Dad. _ She went to her living room and sat down on the couch, pulling her legs to her chest. It was even worse when she was alone. Then she had no distractions from her thoughts. She thought about the first time she saw him, how she almost stopped breathing when she was finally able to see the face that had been blocked by the black hair. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She found it hard it hard to believe he was a real person. She watched him from the background for years, loving him more every time she looked at him. When she was first teamed with him, she thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Now, she wished that anyone was her other teammate than him. He would still be alive today if they were.

She couldn't believe her next thought. She stood up and walked to the kitchen. When she looked opened the pantry door, she looked at the bottom shelf, straight at her parents' sake. It was so tempting. Just a little, she said. It won't take more than a couple of sips, I'm a skinny twelve year old girl. Maybe it'll make me forget about Sasuke for a little while, or at least not care. She knelt down until she was at eye level with the alcohol. The more she looked at it, the more she wanted it. She considered it a blessing when she heard the front door open and her mother announce that they were home, for she shut the door, and all of her desire for the sake was pushed to the back of her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Paste your document here...

If you haven't heard "Been a Long Day" by Rosi Golan, you should listen to it. It's such a beautiful song, it's the main song I've listened to while writing this story.

Chapter 3

"It's been a week now. I've given you two more than enough time. We have to get back into the routine," Kakashi said. He had his two remaining students gathered in front of him, neither of which had been performing even adequately. "I know that this is hard for both of you. It's the first time you've seen someone die like that. But it certainly won't be the last time, and you can't fall apart like this every time it happens."

They both looked down at the ground, ashamed that they had disappointed their sensei. "Sorry," They said at the same time.

"This is a normal reaction for someone who has experienced something that the two of you have. But you just have to pull yourself back up and move on. Now, we have been assigned to a mission." He shook his head. "Remember that woman whose cat we had to chase down and return to her?" The two students nodded. "Well, the cat's gone missing again."

"Is it not starting to register to her that that cat is trying to escape?" Sakura commented.

"Apparently not. Now let's go."

"Forest again?" Kakashi nodded.

It was time-consuming just to find the cat's general location. "He really doesn't want to go back home," Naruto said to Sakura with a laugh.

"Who would?"

"Point taken."

"Now hush, we don't want it to know we're here." She pointed at the small figure in the distance. "It's coming this way right now, let's wait until it gets close enough to grab."

The cat had come into their range running as fast as its body would possibly let it, but it began to gradually slow down until it was now at a brisk walk. Sensing no one there, it stopped and began looking around. Naruto began to advance toward the cat, but Sakura grabbed his arm and yanked him back. He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"We need to let it completely drop its guard. It's still a little suspicious." He groaned and leaned against the tree, tapping his foot impatiently. He had never been a fan of standing in one place, quiet and doing nothing. Sakura subtly poked her head out from behind the tree to observe the cat. After a moment, she turned around and looked him in the eye. "Now."

They lunged at the animal at full speed. Naruto dove at it head first and yanked it into his arms, suffering a barrage of scratches as a result. Sakura stood in front of him, laughing.

"It's not funny, you try being in my position- Agh!"

Kakashi stepped out from behind a tree and began walking towards them, and Naruto was sure he was grinning underneath his mask. "Well done, you two."

"Now can we please get this thing back to that lunatic? I'd love to keep a little bit of my skin." Naruto said, now sporting numerous slices on his skin from the cat's claws.

"Yes, let's go, and hope that this is the last time we have to do a search party for Sugar Bottom, or whatever this damn cat's name is."

"Oh, it is the last. I'm not doing this a third time, she can forget about it."

Sakura had been cleaning her room from the moment she got home. She had cleared out the clutter under her bed, vacuumed, changed her bed sheets, wiped her window, mirror, every hard surface, anything that would keep her busy and occupy her mind. When she was done with her room, she started working on the living room. When that was done, she started on the kitchen, wiping the counter top, organizing the fridge.

Her mother walked into the room and beamed. "Sakura, this looks amazing." She looked over to the living room. "Wow..."

"Thanks, Mom." When she closed the refrigerator door, she looked up at her mom. "Where is the mop?"

"Actually, I did that this morning."

"Okay, what else needs to be done?"

"I don't know, everything else looks good, and you did a really good job in here... I think your work is done."

"No, that can't be all. There has to be something else. I need something else to do. There has to be some dirty piece of furniture, some stain on the carpet..." her search for some kind of task became increasingly frantic.

"Sakura, are you alright?"

"No, I'm not alright, I need to find something to do..."

"You need to calm down, that's what you need to do."

Sakura stopped and looked around. Her mom was right. She was acting crazy. she took a deep breath, and tried to make her heart rate go back to normal. Mrs. Haruno sighed. It had always been so easy to read her daughter, and she knew what this was about. Sakura was trying to keep her mind on outside things so that she wouldn't think about Sasuke.

"Sweetie, I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work. It's just going to make it worse, actually." Sakura looked at her with a shocked expression, and if the subject matter underneath all of this wasn't so serious, she would've laughed. She actually thought she was fooling her mother."You're trying not to think about him."

"Kakashi-sensei says we need to move on."

"And he's right, to an extent. But you don't have to deny yourself every little memory, and you don't have to move on all at once. In fact, you shouldn't. It's unhealthy."

"But I haven't moved on at all." She saw a change in Sakura's eyes, and took a step closer to her. "It's been a week, and I still feel the same as I did on that bridge, when I asked Naruto where he was, and he didn't say anything, just looked away, and it all began to sink in..." Tears began to fall from her eyes again. Her mother took her in her arms and patted her on the back.

"Shh... it's okay."

Naruto sat staring at the water that seemed to have no ending point. The sun was beginning to fade from sight, and the blue in the sky was being taken over by soft shades of pink, orange and purple that became more vibrant with time. He held a rock in his hand, staring at it. It was a small, unremarkable brown rock. He chucked it out in front of him, watching it collide with the still water and then disappear.

"Damn," He muttered.

"You are really terrible at this." He looked up when he heard Sakura's voice.

"Sakura... what're you doing here?"

"I felt like coming here. I needed a place to think."

"About what?"

"Oh, you know, just whatever comes to my mind..."

"Sasuke." There was no question in his voice.

She fell silent and looked at the water. "The sunset's really nice tonight," She said after a moment.

"It is. It's really colorful."

"So..." she reached for the ground. "The first thing that went wrong was your choice of rock. Yours was really thick. You need a really flat and round one, like this." She held up said rock. "And you throw it kind of like you'd-"

"Are you kidding me?"

She tried to hide her annoyance. "What I was going to say, if you would've let me finish, is that you throw it kind of like how you throw a Frisbee."

"Oh..." He slowly grabbed another rock, and jumped up and cheered when the rock skipped twice. She shook her head. Naruto was like a little child in so many ways, such as how he'd get ecstatic over the smallest things.

"And _that_ is why people should take me seriously whenever I say I'm going to be the Hokage!"

She started laughing hysterically, earning an offended gaze from the boy standing next to her.

"What're you laughing at me for?"

She lowered her voice a couple of notches. "I can skip a rock, that totally qualifies me as Hokage material!"

"Yeah, yeah. Keep laughing."

"I will." Sakura realized that for the first time in a week, she was laughing. She knew at some point soon, the pain was going to come back, but for just a little while it was dormant.


End file.
